Burger King Texas BBQ Tendergrill Chicken Sandwich

First, I must say I hate fast food. Hate it. Every time I eat it I feel terrible, sluggish and plain awful. Needless to say, because of my hate of fast food, I try to cook my lunch and dinner every day of the week. Be it cooking on Sunday for the week or cooking for lunch and dinner the night before, I try to make as many of my meals as possible. However, sometimes your daily routine is anything but routine. Today was one of those days for me.

Long story short, for lunch I ended up at Burger King (compliments of my friends). While there I got a double cheeseburger. A friend got the new Texas BBQ Tendergrill Chicken Sandwich. The copy for the aforementioned sandwich (if it even qualifies?) is the category of todays bad copy.

Below is a screen grab of the Burger King Texas BBQ Tendergrill Chicken Sandwich landing page:

Burger King Texas BBQ Tendergrill Chicken Sandwich

Burger King Texas BBQ Tendergrill Chicken Sandwich

Pretty photography. Nice landing page however the copy is uneventful and uninspiring.

“A juicy fire-grilled premium chicken fillet topped with a thick slice of melted American cheese, freshly cut iceberg lettuce, red onions, ripe tomatoes and jalapeño slices, smothered in a smoky and spicy Texas BBQ sauce all on a warm, toasted artisan-style bun. Limited Time Only.”

What’s wrong with this copy? The answer is simple – no call to action. For one object, the copy is a bit long so I’m going to break it down into sections.

“A juicy fire-grilled premium chicken fillet…” Trouble on the first word. “A” means one of many. “A” acknowledges the customer ha choices between brands. “A” means the customer has a choice between Burger King, McDonalds, Wendys etc. “A” is too passive. Passive, in selling, is not good. “A” needs to be changed to “our” for the reason of possession. “Our juicy fire-grilled premium chicken fillet…” tells the customer Burger King is the only brand you need. It grabs the consumer limiting the options to only one.

“…topped with a thick slice of melted American cheese, freshly cut iceberg lettuce, red onions, ripe tomatoes and jalapeño slices…” Technically there is nothing wrong with this part of the copy. The meat of this copy is product qualifiers meant to entice the consumer. The only change I would make to this part of the copy is, “…juicy ripe tomatoes and fresh jalapeños…” Adding a description word before ripe and jalapeños evens out the copy. Moreover the choice to eliminate the second, “slices” is for repetition sake. The copy already has the word slices, don’t use it again.

“… smothered in a smoky and spicy Texas BBQ sauce all on a warm, toasted artisan-style bun. Limited Time Only.” Here the copy gets wordy. “…smothered in a smoky and spicy Texas BBQ sauce…” adds an additional “and” to the copy. It’s wordy and long. It needs to be cut down to, “…smothered in a smoky Texas BBQ sauce…” Moreover, “…Texas BBQ sauce all on a warm…” is wordy. The “all” is not needed. “Texas BBQ sauce on a warm…” works just fine. Rule number two of copy, keep it short and sweet.

Above all though, the main problem with the copy as a whole is there is no call to action. “Limited Time Only” serves as the only so-so call to action. Moreover, it is a stand along call to action. It comes after the main copy. A call to action should be the copy, not what comes after it.

Changes so far…

Original:

“A juicy fire-grilled premium chicken fillet topped with a thick slice of melted American cheese, freshly cut iceberg lettuce, red onions, ripe tomatoes and jalapeño slices, smothered in a smoky and spicy Texas BBQ sauce all on a warm, toasted artisan-style bun. Limited Time Only.”

New Copy:

Our juicy fire-grilled premium chicken fillet topped with a thick slice of melted American cheese, freshly cut iceberg lettuce, red onions, juicy ripe tomatoes and fresh jalapeños, smothered in a smoky Texas BBQ sauce on a warm, toasted artisan-style bun. Limited Time Only.”

Call to Action:

Great copy gets consumers to move. Great copy makes consumers get off their ass. Great copy stays with someone through the day, it motivates and drives. The simple problem with this Burger King copy is a complete failure in call to action. So, how to rectify that?

For a limited time only, rush into your local Burger King to try our juicy fire-grilled premium chicken fillet topped with a thick slice of melted American cheese, freshly cut iceberg lettuce, red onions, juicy ripe tomatoes and fresh jalapeños, smothered in a smoky Texas BBQ sauce on a warm, toasted artisan-style bun.” The call to action should be in front of the copy. It should not stand alone.

Final Copy Change:

Original:

“A juicy fire-grilled premium chicken fillet topped with a thick slice of melted American cheese, freshly cut iceberg lettuce, red onions, ripe tomatoes and jalapeño slices, smothered in a smoky and spicy Texas BBQ sauce all on a warm, toasted artisan-style bun. Limited Time Only.”

New Copy:

For a limited time only, rush into your local Burger King to try our juicy fire-grilled premium chicken fillet topped with a thick slice of melted American cheese, freshly cut iceberg lettuce, red onions, juicy ripe tomatoes and fresh jalapeños, smothered in a smoky Texas BBQ sauce on a warm, toasted artisan-style bun.” The call to action should be in front of the copy. It should not stand alone.

Take note BK. The King needs better copy.

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