It goes without saying but Apple is everywhere these days. In the war for personal computing, tablets and all varieties of mobile devices, Apple is everywhere. Although I have a Macbook (which needs to be replaced) and two or three iPod’s, I do not own an iPhone, an iPad or the new iPad mini. I am sure at some point in time I will own some form of a tablet however I have not yet reached that threshold. All the same, this week Apple introduced the next evolution in Apple tablets, the iPad Mini.
Now we all know Apple is going to clean up with the iPad Mini. Regardless of the iPad Mini’s price, regardless of the iPad Mini’s specs, the smaller version of its bigger brother will make a killing. Call the people at Apple anything you would like however we all must admit, they have a stranglehold on the personal computing market. Either way, the one thing they do not own the corner on is copy. Just like any other brand with a voice or trying to find a voice, finding the perfect copy for a brand is a constant struggle. As they say, language is a tool, let’s put that bitch to work. As such, I present you with some of the iPad Mini copy which could use a little fixing:
“Everything you love about iPad — the beautiful screen, fast and fluid performance, FaceTime and iSight cameras, thousands of amazing apps, 10-hour battery life* — is everything you’ll love about iPad mini, too. And you can hold it in one hand.”
So what’s wrong with this copy? Too many connectors mixed with not enough fluid thought.
Everything you love about iPad in the comfort of one hand — lightning fast fluid performance matched with 10-hour battery life on a brilliant eye-popping screen. Integrated with FaceTime, iSight cameras and an entire universe of apps, the iPad mini raises tablets to another, palm snug, level.
Aside from too many connector’s, the main issue I have with this bit of iPad Mini copy is it leaves the products biggest selling point, its size, until the end of the product copy. Rather than leading with the main change, the copy features it as an ending thought. Not a good idea. Lead with your main selling point, don’t let it drag behind.
Until next time.