Rewriting Slogans for the Real World

Slogans are a funny thing. They are a marketing gimmick, a trick really, designed to make the consumer want something. More often than not slogans are false jumbles of words constructed to specifically evoke an emotional response to buy or get connected. With this in mind, I wanted to take some time to deconstruct a few slogans and in place, put real world thoughts.

First, lets start with Carrera Sunglasses:

The current slogan for Carrera Sunglasses is, “After all, no regrets.”

That slogan is used for these sunglasses. First things first, the product name is reversed. “Black Shiny” should be “Shiny Black”. Secondly, “After all, no regrets” for this? Really? I’m not coming down on this brand because I personally don’t wear them, I am coming down on them because their branding and their products simply don’t go well together. Personally, if I saw someone walking down the road with these on, I wouldn’t think to myself, “After all, no regrets”. Rather I would think to myself, “black frame, mirror lensed shine, too big and curvy for anyones face…” which would lead to the slogan, “Carrera – Sunglasses to make you look like a Dick”. These sunglasses do not say, “After all, no regrets”, they say “I’m a dick”.

Old Slogan: “After all, no regrets”

Real World Slogan: “Sunglasses to make you look like a Dick”

Next, let’s move to Skullcandy.

The current slogan for Skullcandy is, “Adrenaline for your skull”. Truth be told, I actually dig that slogan. For the product they sell, headphones, buds etc., it’s a good slogan. However when you look at their product, it doesn’t fit well. It doesn’t fit well for the same reason that Carrera’s doesn’t fit well. When you see someone using a pair of Skullcandy inner ear buds, you aren’t thinking to yourself, “man, those are cool” rather you are thinking to yourself, “skulls in your ears, really”? For this reason the slogan of Skullcandy shouldn’t be “Adrenaline for your skull”. It should be, “Skullcandy – I need attention, always”. Skullcandy makes a good product but they also make the user look like a tool in need of attention.

Old Slogan – “Adrenaline for your skull”

Real World Slogan – “I need attention, always”

Finally, let’s move to the worst offender, Affliction Clothing.

The current slogan for Affliction Clothing is “Live Fast”. It goes without saying but the clothing Affliction produces, while it may sell, is not expressing the sentiment “Live Fast”. I can’t imagine anyone in their life has ever thought, “Live Fast” when someone wearing an Affliction T walked by them. It’s just not conceivable. Above all else the branding for Affliction, although they promote the MMA fighting style, is just terrible. I understand companies have to try to sell product but the entire Affliction brand isn’t about living fast, it’s about drawing attention to yourself in a loud, verbose and obnoxious fashion. For this reason also the slogan for Affliction shouldn’t be “Live Fast”. The slogan for Affliction should be, “I’m a douche bag.”

Old Slogan – “Live Fast”

Real World Slogan “I’m a douche bag”

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