St. Ives Invigorating Apricot Scrub

When I let it grow in, I have a thick beard. A very thick beard. When I shave it, like most guys, I shave with and against the grain (the double shave). The double shave leaves your face smoother than a babies bottom. It’s a bad phrase for the obvious reason of evoking touching a babies bottom but nonetheless, it’s true. The double shave leaves your face smooth.

Once I finish my shave, the next step in my process is applying St. Ives Invigorating Apricot Scrub. I love the stuff. I don’t always apply it after every shave but when I do, I love the stuff. Due to my St. Ives usage, I have read the product description many times. Enough times for the product description to irk me. I love my St. Ives Invigorating Apricot Scrub but I hate the copy used to describe it. Below is a screen shot of the product and its description:

St. Ives Invigorating Apricot Scrub

St. Ives Invigorating Apricot Scrub

Pretty looking product. Pretty looking landing page. Part of the copy is good. Part of the copy is terrible. Let’s tackle the good part first:

“From America’s #1 Scrub brand, this award-winning Apricot Scrub deep cleans, instantly leaving skin smooth and glowing.”

The copy for the product description is good however it isn’t strong enough. “From America’s #1 Scrub brand…” hits the spot. No complaints.

“…this award-winning Apricot Scrub…” could be written better. “This” kills the first part of the sentence by taking away from the brand. “This” should be changed to “our” for the simple reason of telling the customer, “our” brand is the only brand you will ever need. “This” implies one of many, implies the brand is competing against other brands. The truth is St. Ives is competing against other brands however they should never let the consumer know that. “This” lets the consumer know they have a choice, it lets them know they could easily pick a face scrub by Burt’s Bees or Neutrogena. “Our” tells the consumer they have picked St. Ives. It is a subtle nudge telling the consumer, St. Ives is the only face scrub you will ever need.

“…deep cleans, instantly leaving skin smooth and glowing,” is straight and to the point. “deep cleans, instantly leaving skin smooth and glowing,” is an example of great copy.

And now, for the not so good copy: “Apricots contain powerful antioxidants that gently cleanse skin. Apricot oil is known to hydrate and nourish skin.” In the first sentence, the word “contain” acts as an informational gateway to the rest of the sentence. Instead of acting as brand reenforcement, it acts as the Discovery Channel in the sentence. “Contain” needs to be replaced with “are” to act as powerful reinforcement to buy the product.”Apricots are powerful antioxidants…” makes the consumer have no need to double guess why he or she is buying the product. “Are” express power while “contain” express information.

“Apricot oil is known to hydrate and nourish skin” is the worst offender in the bunch. “…is known…” is awful. “Is known” invites questions, begets double guessing and generally lets the consumer ask themselves, “really? Are you sure?” Is known is vague and not well thought out. “Is known” like “contain” leads the customer to guessing. In this case, “is known” needs to be eliminated. The sentence should read, “Apricot oil hydrates and nourishes skin.” It’s shorter, more to the point and leaves no room for guessing. It reassures the customer and leaves no doubt.

So, full copy change:

Original:

“From America’s #1 Scrub brand, this award-winning Apricot Scrub deep cleans, instantly leaving skin smooth and glowing.”

Change:

“From America’s #1 Scrub brand, our award-winning Apricot Scrub deep cleans, instantly leaving skin smooth and glowing.”

Original:

“Apricots contain powerful antioxidants that gently cleanse skin. Apricot oil is known to hydrate and nourish skin.”

Change:

“Apricots are powerful antioxidants that gently cleanse skin. Apricot oil hydrates and nourishes skin.”

The change makes the copy read smoother, cleaner and imparts brand awareness/power to the consumer. I will continue to use my favorite face scrub however I hope they change its copy.

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